When My Heart Talks and My Mind Moves.

Caution: This will be written in a language in which I am most comfortable in, though your eyes might bleed whilst reading this post. Beforehand, I apologize. But I believe that this is how I could fully express myself and how I feel and/or think.

It's too early alam ko un, pero I want to give my best now, pero hindi ko talaga alam kung papano since I'm not courting her, and we're just friends. baka kasi lumagpas ako sa limits. Alam ko lumagpas na ako sa limits, maraming beses na at hindi dapat yun. Masyadong sobra na talaga ang paglagpas ko. Ewan ko ba, ang sarap tuloy iuntog tong ulo ko sa pader, hahhaha para matauhan. OA na ako alam ko un! at Masyado akong lumagpas sa limit! kaya siguro this past days nahiya ako or natakot ang puso ko sa environment, kasi hindi ko alam kung ano ba talaga tong environment na to. Is it sa trap? kasi feeling ko alam ng environment lahat lahat ng pinaggagawa kong mali. I'm afraid since alam mo "star" na madami akong nagawang mali at hindi dapat, siguro turn off kna. ganito kasi ako OA masyado hahaha! haaaaayyy ang gulo tuloy ng nararamdaman ko, saka pansin mo din pala na medyo wala ako sa mood this past days, haha napansin din nila ate sa canteen, akala ko kasi matatago ko, akala ko di nila mapapansin akala ko tigin nila at tigin mo normal lang ako. kasi bat dati, natatago ko, ngaun parang halatang halata. Ayoko kasi may makakita sa akin n malungkot, I dont want to show my weak side to others.

Nga pala what do you mean by "wag masyadong seryoso"? hindi ko maintindihan e, basta ang alam ko seryoso ako, basta sana makita mo un. ang dami tuloy pumapasok sa isip ko. I know naman na wala talaga akong pag'asa simula palang. but still I'm willing to wait for that chance sabi mo after college, hihintayin ko yun. basta alam ko din puro salita lang ako kulang sa gawa pano ba kasi hiyang hiya na ko, napaka OA ko kasi, alam ko inis kana sa pagiging OA ko, at cguro turn off kna. gusto ko marinig ung side ng heart mo, na ayaw mo naman sabihin, hindi ko kasi alam, minsan may pagkamanhid ako, ang gulo gulo kasi, hindi kita magets.

please tell me, kung ano ba talaga. kung may mali ako sabihin mo please, ganito ako kasi masyadong nagpapakatotoo sayo. gusto ko lahat ng laman ng puso ko masasabi ko, one way kasi un ng pagpapakita na transparent si puso, alam mo kung ano ung nasa loob nito, at alam mo ang kulay at pati ang hangad nito. minsan gusto itago ni utak ang mga nasasaloob ni puso, kasi hindi naman talaga dapat na lagi nalang syang transparent. may mga times kasi na hindi pwede sabihin. :) at least na express ko lahat ng gusto ko sabihin. sorry nga pla kung masyadon OA. kaya nga lumayo ako ng konti dahil sa pagiging OA ko, nahihiya na din ako. kung mabasa mo man to. please tell me kung ano ung reaction mo, ung nasa loob mo talga un nararamdaman ng puso mo habang binabasa mo to, ung tipong sasabihin mo lahat ng mga negative sa akin, at kung ano ba talaga ung mali. maiintidihan ko un kasi galing sayo.

The Curse

Good morning, I'm fixing my guitar right now and a part of me wants to scream! There was a bad news. They are moving now, and taking my personal life. I know my life was like an open book to my trusted friends, but its different now. Some or many of them(curse) was moving to enter my life, and I hate it. I can't trust anyone right now since their are a lot of them wants to enter and be a part of me, taking my close friends on fire.

to my close friends:
please don't entertain them and don't give any personal information about me. Until the curse was past on you. haha! Ang sumpa kainis, nung high school okay yung sumpa pero ngaun ibang usapan na.

Inside me (11-13-11)

Back ground music http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t28C2hAqhJ8&feature=related
sa mga masugid kong mangbabasa check out muna ang background music :) then basa ulit.

Lumipas na naman ang araw na ito, hindi ako masaya ay hindi din ako malungkot, yung tipong sakto lang. kahit na gusto kong maging masaya ngauun araw na ito, parang may kulang kasi, kulang as in, may nawawala.

Nagkulong ako sa isang lugar, inisip ko kung ano ba talaga yung nawawalang iyon, at naisip ko, hindi naman siya nawawala, natatakot lang siya

Natatakot ngaun ang puso ko, hindi ko alam kung bakit, cguro marahil ayaw nyang magkamali, or natatakot magkamali, sapagkat nagkamali na siya noon at ayaw na niyang maulit muli yung mga pagkakamali niya. Naalala kasi niya kung anong gulo ang pinasok niya dati.

Mahirap talaga, kapag apektado yung puso mo, kahit na gusto ng puso mo kung ayaw naman ng isip mo. wala rin...

Mahirap kasi kapag may isang tao kang minamahal tapos, na sanay ka nang sabihin lahat sa kanya ang nilalaman nito, yung tipong lahat ng nararamdaman mo sinasabi mo sa taong mahal mo,pero yung taong mahal mo, haaaaaaayyy..
basta mahirap kasi feeling ko pagtinago ko tong nararamdaman ko, hindi ako nagpapaka'totoo. gusto ko kasi sabihin sa kanya, gusto ko sabihin lahat ng naiisip ko at nararamdaman ko. gaya ng dati, kaya lang simula nung araw na iyon nag'iba na ang lahat.

Alam ko sa puso at isip ko, gusto ko siya. kahit na ilang bese niya akong tinulak palayo, kahit na sa tigin ko wala talagang pag-asa, kahit na madaming kalaban.
I will never give up! I will win her heart! I know it's too much to say this words, but it is the feeling inside me!.



"Minsan naiisip ko, sabi mo kasi "umiiyak ka" gusto ko malaman ang mga dahilan kung bat ka umiiyak, at itong si puso gusto ka tulungan ngunit hindi mo naman sinasabi ang dahilan kung bakit ka umiiyak, basta tandaan mo lang pagmalungkot at may mga problema, pumikit ka lang, at lagi mong tandaan may pusong handang tumulong sayo."

I'm not giving up!

Inside me (11-10-11)

Got home from somewhere(8:26pm), and I’m feeling blue right now. I think it’s because, I miss someone who is really special to me. Reading her previous and old text messages makes me smile, but it is really different tonight because I really miss her, I want to see her, I’m wondering what she’s doing right now. Cguro nagbabasa siya ng book na pinahiram ko sa kanya. Kumain na kaya siya? Madami akong gusting sabihin at ikwento kaya lang hindi dapat. Sana okay lang siya ngaun. Sigh, missing her.

Loving someone is the greatest feeling! Finally, normal pala ko, kasi nagmahal akong muli! :D

--I don’t care if my grammar isn’t right, it's just a little thing, and little things dont mean much to me. :) I just want to express what I'm feeling right now. walang taong perpekto, lahat ay may kasiraan, ang kailangan lang gawin ng bawat isa sa atin ay tangapin kung ano man ung kasiraan na un. at tulungan ang isat isa para matakpan ang kasiraan na iyon.

"So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love"

Fuzzy

Then 1st semester of 2nd year came, and Inside me its an ordinary semester, and I've never thought that one of them will touch my heart. Lets call her "Star". Star was an ordinary type of girl, she always smile, make fun of something and laugh so hard, sometimes I thought see was crazy, laughing on my words without apparent reason. ^_^
even though she acts like that, I still like her.Got home from school, I'm very tired but still keeping my self up to update this blog,

Starting my 2nd semester of my 2nd year in Engineering was hard for me, not just physically but emotionally. I don't see problems in forms of anxiety. I see it as a tool to make me strong and build my self up. This is the foundation of a future me, giving up is saying good bye and that's a no no!

It's been fun all this months but sometimes, a part of me wants to stops and shift my major.

I have build my foundations around my best friends, but I've never imagine building it on my college friends, at First I've found them lacking. Lacking in the way they interact with me. Its not a strong bond that build us up, it's weak and fragile, but I try to share my thoughts and opinions in everything that's happening around.

*magtatagalog na hirap mag'english, sorry sa mga readers n hindi marunong magtagalog*

Nung una parikamdam ko may mali sa mga bagay bagay. *to be continue*

Amber Pacific

Amber Pacific is a poppunk band i usually listen to, back in my junior and senior highschool days. Their music was really cool that you can dance of their music. It can make you sing, cry, and dance. But what is really amazing is that tonight, i accidentally drop by on my purevolume playlist to listen to some music. And the song "always you'' played on. I remember how this band change my life. Listening to their music is fun leading to my dream to have a band that could change lives of many people touching their hearts and living with joy of feeling that you are inspiring people to do their best and changing their life. Im planning to be a musician inspiried by the amber pacific.

It's been a while

It's been a while since I last posted here, I miss posting my life. now for the last week of my life, I’ve encountered so many hardships, I reviewed for my physics and math exam but in math I did well though my grades are below average, dealing with those time pressuring exam and fast solver classmates, today I focus on my study and increase my productivity. See you will keep this updated soon,

Raining of Test Papers

Success! Accomplishment of today was having my exam done without regrets. First was physics. I had a hard time reviewing my physics subject staying awake all night dealing with problems, but the test result has not been release, im expecting that my fruit of hardwork will bring a success to me! I am really thankful that god helped me everyday in my school life. I'm in the church now and I want to thank him all about what he sent to me! Thank you!

Afternoon laziness

Good afternoon! Its a good day to sleep and relax after a tiring physics test! Im in a library studying and doing my assigned task that need to be finish today so that I can review on math tomorrow. My head is aching and I dont know why? I need to relax for around an hour before doing an extream review on math! I will past the test tomorrow and I will be on top! Like what i did on physics!

A Morning with Philosopy

Its philosophy that given me a head ache. Anyway good morning! Its a great morning even though I had a bad mood with philosophy and logic. I had a low grades with my assignments and it seems that, it will hook up my average grade to down, and as usuall I wont let it be! I must persue all written activities and paper work! I will push it hard to make my self on top!

Peaceful Afternoon

It's a peaceful afternoon, and I cant explain why. This was the greatest afternoon I ever had, my mom was not noisy as also my dad. It felt different very peaceful with out those annoying noises and screaming voices.

Midterm exam is fast approaching, I must review my lessons to past the exam. Probably by tomorrow I will review in physics and math for incoming hard exams, I will also make my report in Rizal.

One Lazy Afternoon

Shoot! I'm very tired and wanted a big break, i had not done anything yet the whole day. I planned to review my subjects but it turn up like this watching television, computer gaming, and sleeping. Its already 3 o'clock and i hadn't eaten yet my lunch. Holy crap i need to move now need to accomplished something today. First i'll clean the house then eat my lunch and wash the dishes. Prepare my clothes for tomorrow and last review lessons

Midterm Week is Coming

Midterm week oh. Midterm week..
Its midterm again, and alot of hard subject are in, I need to memorize all formulas in solid mensuration. As well as in physics, i need to study now to perfectly pass all my exams

An Afternoon With Rizal

It was a windy afternoon, my friends and i was in the library. We talked about many things including our national hero Dr. Jose Rizal.. Its amazing knowing that he travel many countries to study and put Filipino respect against spaniards, he is very intellegent but as a normal man he was so indulge dealing with girls.

My first day of blogging my life long journal

I wake up this morning w/ my mom screeming me to wake up,
I am already late at school she said, and my father as a grown up always says irritating words to get me out of this life of being late. Its a good morning as the sun shines but I dont feel well because, I have sleep only for around 6 hours. I wish i'll have more time to sleep.

When I got to school the first teacher was not around and i'll wait for my next class for 5 hours. Oh.. Damn thing!

As I read the story of the philippine national hero I was amazed by the hardwork and persistent he shows on learning. Even though problems came to him he really try his best to study and not to monkey around.

Damn thing! I got home and now what, all the teachers in my class are absent and i didnt get any thing.